You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
