I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
