I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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