its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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