Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
