Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
