i may or may not be watching the land before time
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
