I'm jealous of your bromance
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
