i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
