we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
