Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
