She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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