Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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