I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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