..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
