I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
