we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I want a musical about memes.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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