I don't think we should have started that trash fire
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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