Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
