She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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