either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
