This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize