she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
