he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize