I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
