Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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