Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
