all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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