totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
