You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
