I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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