Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
