I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i now understand why vodka
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
