I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
