I wanna passion pit in your ass
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i think im in europe. pls send help
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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