Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize