Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
