our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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