Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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