Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize