im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
