He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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