Having a random hookup so left but love u
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Also, beer. Big fan.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
