I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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