it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
