If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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