Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
