Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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