this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
