his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
