yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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