WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
