No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
