I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
