I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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