I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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