My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
