This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
