I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
