Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
