So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
