I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
