you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
