i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
