thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
