shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
