; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
