Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize