Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
