Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
