your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize