Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
