btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
My penis needs a shock collar
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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