I wannas sexs uuuuu
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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