I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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