remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I supernannyed him into submission
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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